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Self-Esteem can be defined as the extent to which an individual believes him or herself to be capable, sufficient, and worthy.   It is the regard people hold for themselves, and it can be high or low

All of the relationships you have with other people are affected by the way you see yourself, accept, or reject yourself, and assume others feel about you.

Most people who always need to tell about their accomplishments are actually compensating in some way for low self-esteem.  Another form of compensating is when 2 people focus on a single strength ( such as good looks, mental ability, or athletic skills) to make up for their overall bad feelings about themselves.  These feelings are also called self worth.

Low self-esteem is when people are unwilling or unable to see themselves as capable, sufficient, or worthy.

High self-esteem is when people have healthy feelings about themselves and are therefore more likely to succeed in personal goals and career goals.


Our self esteem changes over time and day to day



  1. Feelings, either positive or negative, about self-worth

  2. Confidence in the ability to deal with problems when they happen, often called self efficacy

Self efficacy is the confidence an individual has to deal with problems when they occur.



Where does your self-esteem come from?

As with nearly all of the major influences in life, it starts to develop in early childhood.  According to well-known psychologist Carl Rodgers, the sense of self is a guiding principle that structures the personality. Through inborn, then sense of self is shaped by many outside forces.  In young children, self-esteem is just a reflection of the esteem that parents and others have for the child; it develops as children react to the ways that important people treat them.  During childhood, parents are the most important people among those shaping self-esteem.  Older children and adolescents are also influenced by teachers, coaches, friends, and others who build up ( or damage) their self-esteem.

When your parents and other important people show you unconditional positive regard, or accept you no matter what your behavior may be at the moment, then you develop a healthy self esteem

When parents show children conditional positive regard, accepting their children only when they behave the way they want, then children may not develop a healthy self-esteem




Self-concept is closely tied to self-esteem; however, they don't mean exactly the same thing

Self-concept is the way you conceive of ( or see) yourself; this view of yourself is the foundation of your self-esteem. 

Most of what you do is controlled by your self-concept the way you picture yourself to be.




  1. Ideal self is the way you would like to be or plan to become

  2. Looking-Glass self  is the self that you assume others see when they look at you

  3. Self Image is the way you truly feel about your self

  4. Real self is you as your really are, when nobody is around to approve or disapprove of your actions.


Steps toward Achieving Higher Self-Esteem


1.  Learn to accept yourself

    Don't feel that you have to be like someone else. Don't dwell on the past, but instead remember that the past does not equal the future

2.  Develop an internal locus of control

    People with an internal locus of control feel that they are in control of events in their own lives and have more of a take charge attitude

3.  Develop a winning skill

      If you have a special hobby or interest, spend some time cultivating that skill

4.  Study confident people

    Study those who seem to have a strong self-esteem

5.  Read bibliographies of people you admire

    You will be amazed at how many self-esteem hints you can pick up from a good biography

6.  Make a list of your greatest talents

    If you draw a blank, ask someone that is close to you.

7.  Stop procrastinating

    If you honestly feel you never out things off too long, you can skip this section.

8.  Find a mentor

    A mentor is someone who will walk you through experiences that are new to you, but he or she has already been through .

    Remember that both role models and mentors are people who will help you be a better you.  Don't lose your identity in the process of adopting their habits.  You need to find success on your own strengths

9.  Use positive self-talk

    Positive self-talk is a popular method of building self-esteem by thinking and speaking positively about yourself

10.  Avoid surface analysis of yourself and others

    Surface analysis means looking only at the apparent rather than underlying issues of life.

11. Pygmalion effect

    This is the influence of others' expectations, both negative and positive, which acts to change the behavior of another.

12.  Don't forget the needs of others

    Competitiveness can keep people from allowing others to achieve the same things they are achieving


Steps toward Combating Low Self-Esteem.


Find its purpose

Talk back

Make this pathological critic totally useless

Forgive yourself





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